Do you believe in signs? My hubby always says that signs don’t exist but I have always thought they really do. I don’t know if life is necessarily putting experiences or situations in the way as a means to guide our choices or if our brain just starts to pick up on things that relate to the feelings and ideas that live deep in our sub-conscience. Either way, I feel like I am definitely getting some vibes lately that are pointing me in the direction of the life I really want to live.
Like a lot of middle-aged adults, I have started to really ponder life lately. Am I happy? Am I successful? What does happiness and success mean to me? Am I setting a good example for my daughters? Is there something more out there? Is this the life I wanted?
Don’t misunderstand me when I question if this is the life I wanted. I love my husband. I adore my children. My family is the most sacred thing in my life and definitely my greatest accomplishment. I am incredibly grateful for all that I have but is this really the life for me. Is this really the life I want for my husband and for my girls? I have often said over the past few months that the hubby and I did what was expected of us by society. We went to college. We got married. We had children. We found good jobs that pay us well. We bought a house. We accomplished this so-called American dream but was this really our dream or just the dream that we all read about in books and thought was the only dream.
Most dreams don’t come without a price and the same can be said about the journey I have been on since entering this thing called adulthood. My kids notice the stress I am often under. The stress of always trying to please everyone. The stress of doing what is right. The stress of being responsible at all costs. The stress of managing motherhood with work. The stress that is slowly killing us all!
What do you do when you realize the very thing you have been after your whole life maybe wasn’t your dream after all? What do you do when you realize that the stress of trying to attain said dream kills a little piece of you everyday? What do you do when you realize your children are watching, learning from you and taking queues from what you have done with your life? In my case, you stop, breathe, and make a change. This brings me back to those signs I mentioned earlier. I think I am starting to notice a few.
Sign #1 – I read an article a couple of days ago about Oprah Winfrey. She is embarking on an eight city US tour called The Life You Want. Her explanation of the tour is simple. “It’s about living the life you want, because a great percentage of the population is living a life that their mother wanted, that their husband wanted, that they thought or heard they wanted.’ So could it be I am not the only one that feels this way?
Sign #2 – I have been privileged to meet several strong, independent women as of late. Women that stare life in the face and take charge. Women that go after their dreams despite how crazy others think they may be. Women who strive to show their children that you should make your life what you want and not to let your life make you.
Sign #3 – I just recently found a little book called The Happiness Project. The premise is that a middle-aged woman sets out on a year-long project aimed at finding what true happiness is for her. I have just started reading the book but is comforting to know that there others searching for what makes them happy.
Who can ignore the signs? It is like a GPS saying stop and adjust your route which is exactly what I intend to do. I want my girls to see that it is okay to go for it in life and create the life you want. It is okay to call an audible every now and then adjust your course. This is the first day of my journey to happiness.